You know who I’m talking about! You and the staff learn their names really quickly! They call out loud, interrupt others, run around in circles, say “NO!” repeatedly and they need attention much more than the other kids. The problem is that when staff says things like “You get what you get…” or “No Thank you!” they are UNKNOWINGLY creating Win-Lose environments while reenforcing the unwanted behaviors. Imagine creating a Win-Win environment where those children thrive and help you lead the classroom instead of disrupting it. Thousands of ECE educators have transformed their classrooms by using the magical strategies of Behavior Mastery.
Have you heard your staff say things to their students like “You get what you get and you don’t get upset!”, “Was that a good choice?”, “Do you have your listening ears on?” or “No thank you…No thank you!”? They are just saying what they have been taught to say by their mentors, parents and co-teachers. Unfortunately, they are unintentionally creating a Win-Lose environment. Stay with me on this one. The child loses by getting shut down by the teacher’s words that don’t help the child with their needs/problems AND the teacher wins because she feels like she is RIGHT! And we love being RIGHT! Would you rather be wrong or right?
Did you know that when we feel we are RIGHT our brain releases Dopamine, Oxytocin, Endorphins and Serotonin into our bodies for an immediate feel-good rush sensation? BUT the cost of being right in the moment is that we make someone else wrong as we put our immediate need to feel good in front of having a wonderful relationship with the human we are making wrong. The first step is to be aware when we say phrases like the ones above to our kids and catch ourselves saying “You get…”, pausing, taking 1 breath, and choosing to say something different that creates a Win-Win conversation which leads to a Win-Win classroom environment.
Consider introducing your staff to a Win-Win way of communicating with the kids. The Behavior Mastery system that will be explained over the next 5 featured articles is completely Win-Win as the tools, tips and techniques used are aligned with the design of the body and brain and lead to positive behavior changes. Parts 1 & 2 are for the 95% of children that follow all directions. Parts 3-5 are for the alpha, neuro-divergent king/queen of your classroom who needs attention and craves to be seen. They will only change their behaviors when you give THEM a reason to, not because YOU want them to. When someone tells you what to do, do you do it immediately or have initial resistance? Then you only do it because YOU chose it. That’s how the Behavior Mastery system works as well. Enjoy the video below about a youth basketball game and watch the difference between #10 choosing Win-Lose and #50 choosing Win-Win by helping a fellow teammate. Listen to the entire auditorium cheer at the end. Win-Win.